Christmas. A time of peace and goodwill to all men. Or, in our house, a time of ninety eight decibels sustained over seven hours and an almost constant request to build, set up, draw, read instructions, and assist in unwrapping.
By lunchtime I had flown to Saturn in a rocket, built half a Lego lorry, constructed a robber’s getaway vehicle, made a half arsed attempt to demonstrate a Diablo, been iPad fishing, sung a few nursery rhymes, brummed a red bus around the kitchen floor on all fours and glanced repeatedly at my watch to see if it would be acceptable to have a strong Jack and coke… or two. I was fucking exhausted.
I hope you all had a great Christmas, managed to avoid stepping on a piece of Lego, got through the entire Christmas dinner without a request for a poo / more presents / assistance with a rather complex Meccano helicopter and made it to the far-away finishing line of kids’ bedtimes without tantrums, tears or too much indigestion. We didn’t. But hey, there’s always next year.
Didn’t get Womb with a View, the debut book from Mothering Frights writer Jodie Newman, in your Christmas stocking? Outrageous. But never mind, treat yourself to a copy at www.jodienewman.co.uk. Don’t worry, there is no Christmas sale on, so there will be no need to start queueing at 1am, and you won’t get poked in the ribs by someone’s elbow. Well, probably not.