Greetings. We interrupt this blogging broadcast to bring you what is quite frankly, an utterly shameless and downright pathetic plea for a vote. The MAD Blog Awards 2014 have rolled into Blogtown, sound system turned up to eleven, all gyrating hips and flamboyant headdresses. And there is no point beating around the homemade drum, I quite fancy hitching a lift on that float, baby.
Last year, I managed to creep onto the finalists list. I think the large-brimmed hat and fake moustache helped. (Mind you, give it another few years and the way my facial hair is going, I won’t need fake one). I was extraordinarily chuffed – uberchuffed, if you will, although that sounds a little like a train that has exceeded its speed limit, or a woman with an exceedingly large va… oh, never mind. So this year, I would love to do the same, but I can only do that with your help. And when I say help, I mean vote. Here: www.the-mads.com
And here are a few reasons to help you decide if you can be bothered to go to the enormous lengths of clicking on the link to place your vote:
1. As part of last year’s finalists prize, we got to go to Legoland and see an exclusive viewing of Lego Chima 4D. What is 4D, we pondered? It turned out it was a) getting drenched b) getting smoked out and c) getting two small children petrified to the point of hysteria. I thoroughly enjoyed it, but the experience was slightly marred by a very damp 4 year old, shivering and whimpering and attempting to climb into my rib cage via my throat. I would love to treat them to an experience that doesn’t scar them for life this year and you can help www.the-mads.com
2. On that same trip, we had been in the aforementioned amusement park for approximately 25 minutes before totally losing one child. He was found again, safe and sound, and I got to write out ‘I must try to remember I have two children’ one hundred times. It would probably be a good thing to enjoy a finalists day in the presence of both children, all of the time. So vote here: www.the-mads.com
3. My blog. Obviously, I write my blog as it is a darn sight cheaper than therapy. But along the way, as I stumble along the rocky, potholed path of parenting, without a map or any sense of direction, taking frequent wrong turns down labyrinthine cul de sacs and quite frankly scary looking dark places, I hope you have enjoyed the ride. And if you have – if you have raised a smile, or rolled your eyes, or laughed, or snorted, or tutted, or said to yourself ‘thank Christ there is someone more crap than me at this parenting malarkey’, then perhaps you would consider it worthy of your vote. www.the-mads.com
I think three is enough, don’t you? No? Okay, then, how about…
4. If you vote for me then I will give you free chocolate buttons. For life. You know, the giant ones. Actually, no. This is a lie. I don’t even have any chocolate buttons (*toes an empty, crumpled packet of chocolate buttons further under my desk surreptitiously).
So, it’s crunch time. Just click on http://www.the-mads.com and click on the big, green Nominate Now button. You will have to vote for a blog of the year, and then you can vote for as few or as many categories as you wish. Voting closes on March 24th so saddle up that mouse and mosey on over there.
So, for example, you might want to put the gorgeous Gourmet Mum in the food category (www.gourmetmum.tv) whilst popping Mothering Frights into the Entertaining category.
So get yourself a cuppa, a Jammy Dodger and a couple of minutes and get on over to www.the-mads.com to vote. You won’t get any chocolate buttons, but you may well get an inordinate sense of wellbeing.